VANCOUVER, BC – In a press conference held at City Hall earlier today, the Vancouver Police Department (VPD) announced that anyone purchasing a Harley-Davidson will receive a complimentary noise violation ticket that must be paid before the rider is allowed to ride.

“For quite a long time we been handing out noise violation tickets to Harley-Davidson riders,” Police Chief Rufus Donutsmith told the gathered press. “But it’s been difficult to get people to pay when they take us to court since most officers just make up the rules when we pull someone over.”

When asked if other motorcycle brands will also feel the moist slap of the law, the Police Chief answered; “Well, any vehicle that’s louder than a paddle-board,” (which is the official mode of transport in Vancouver) “will be considered for the noise ticket program.”

The revenue from the new law will give more money to the city of Vancouver to fund a bicycle superhighway from Yaletown to Stanley Park.

With the new law coming into effect later this year, the Vancouver Police have had to make 4 trips to Costco to purchase stamps and envelopes. A tweet from the VPD stated, “Each ticket we send out will have a hand written note, because we want riders to know we care about them”.