New York, NY – Motorcycle riding has been named the second safest activity to do outside during the Covid-19 lockdown on the “S.M.A.R.T. Things to Do list”.
Over a Skype video conference, S.M.A.R.T. President Karen Stuffinputs, announced that riding a motorcycle is now the second safest activity you can do outside.
“With the global pandemic of covid-19, hopscotch is the only thing safer,” she said. “Riding a motorcycle would have been named the number 1 least dangerous thing to do outside, but I spoke with the manager and they moved it to number 2.”
S.M.A.R.T. (Soccer Moms Against Real Trouble), releases a list of the safest activities that’s published annually. Since 1995 till 2019, riding a motorcycle has never been in the top 1,000. Before the spread covid-19, eating tide pods was higher on the list than riding a motorcycle.
Karen stated “motorcycles used to be out of the question”. But now, “life isn’t like the ending of 50 Shades of Grey, it’s the red room with no safe word!”
She also listed off the top things that she believes to be un-safe:
- Watching the Tiger King more than once
- Not wiping down the shopping cart before touching it
- Sharing ice cream with your neighbor Gary
- Teaching your kids math
- Going to work
- Correcting the math that you taught your kids
- Kim Jong-Un still being alive
- Waiting till your down to the last bottle of wine before going to the store.
The announcement was only scheduled for 15 mins but lasted 51 minutes due to Karen not knowing how to end the video call and having to yell at her son to stop playing Call of Duty and help her.